My life as Nobody

Rough time

For everyone who doesn’t know yet. I broke up with my boyfriend. I feel good with my desicion, even if it hurts a little bit from time to time. We were a couple for two years. Today would be our aniversary.
I dragged him to move out. Hopefully he’ll made it in least than three months. A friend of mine will move in ‘cause we both aren’t good in being alone.
I feel like I missed so much and I start thinking why I wasted two years of my life with a person who wasn’t worth it? Was he never worth it? Who is worth it actually? But also I start missing some intimates. Like cuddling and kissing. I never thought that it would be so important to me to kiss someone, or just even a hug.
I feel more mature even of I don’t act like.
This break up shows me that the person you once loved isn’t the person you thought to know. It’s sad to see that adults throw offends and hate at each other, while they used to be turtle doves. Love is like war. Sadly but true.

Don’t worry so much about tomorrow that you forget to live today!

My head explodes!

I’m not going to work today. Feeling sick. Confused.

A single person can flip your whole world. A single person can switch interests to desire. A single person can make you see the nice things in life. Just one single person.

The last few days were a blast for me. I finally gotta work again and I met someone special. I’m not going too far by saying that I’m already freaking out to meet him! “Hello self-esteem. What? Oh, you don’t think I’m worth it? Uh well, when you’re saying it… I should think about it.” Hell no! Always the same.

Is he really that gentleman I think he is? What if not? And, damn, what if? I’m still in a relationship!
I feel guilty but not, like I should, against my boyfriend. I feel guilty against him but it’s not my fault that his relationship broke down. Or is it?

Why do we have to hurt people before we can live a better life? A life with all that love and happiness, we always wanted to live.

Self-esteem 60points down.
I should go and kill myself. I’m off. Bye.

-.-*

Do you know the state of confusion relating to your lovelife? I don’t want this anymore -.-*

Family

What does family means to you? I mean, is your family “just” mom, dad and your annoying little sister? For me family is more. Everyone can be a part of my family. My friends are a huge part of it and of course my god-/grand-/ parents. But the friend part is most important to me because they were there for me in every shitty situation of my life. I’ve never had a lot of friends but those who really love me for who I am are still with me and will always be. Now you have to know that my family situation is kind of weird for other people. But let me try to explain it. I grew up in a adoption family. I call them Mama and Papa because they raised me up and had a ton of truble with me in my teenage years! But I also have biological parents. My dad and “that woman”. I really love my dad, he’s a good scottish man and about the other person we don’t need to talk. I’m pretty sure you smart ass bitches figured out that I don’t like her, lol. Anyways, in my adoption family I used to be a single kid. But my dad was married twice after my birth so it comes that I have three scottish siblings, 2 boys and one girl. “That woman” was married once after my birth and after she gave me free for adoption, so it comes that I have four semi-lebanese siblings, 3 boys and one girl. Oh and I am already an aunty since this year! Yes my little scottish sister gave birth to the most cutest little princess on the whole world and I’m a real proud aunt, notable she’s my first niece^^. So you see, my family situation is crazy and I haven’t list all the details now, lol. But for everyone out there who wishes their parents would just shut ‘the fuck’ up, be carefull what you wish for. I have a lot of (semi-) orphan friends or friends their parents went through divorce and they would give everything to be your parents kid, to be loved, to know how it feels like with a mom AND a dad, yea even the parental control thing they would gladly accept. So love your family, you’ll never know when it’s time to say goodbye.

I hate it..

..when you realize that you’ll maybe never reach something important in your life. Depressing, disturbing, desilusional.

Things that will never happen…

Last week was my birthday and like every year I think about stuff that would make my life complete and this year all I can think about is if @AlexAllTimeLow would write a song for me and @PatrickStump would write one about me I could die happily!! I know that’ll never happen but, oh my gosh, just to think about it makes me freak out ^^